| Tellyourtestimony URL: |
| http://www.tellyourtestimony.com/pambeard |
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| pamela 's Journals |
| Journal Entries |
Date Posted |
| Abscess |
10/20/2008 |
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| Marketplace Ministry |
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Promote and advertise your business, events, music and talents. Posting is Free.
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pamela does not current have any ads/events.
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| Status Update |
pamela is in the process of getting healed by her Lord.
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Scott is tired! 5 hours ago...
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DALE is Blessed with 5 homes to air duct from 1 phone call thank you Jesus ! 18 hours ago...
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Scott is playing with his new Zune! :) 27 hours ago...
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Scott is sore from snowshoeing! 66 hours ago...
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May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you all of his blessings, and great peace of heart 73 hours ago...
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| pamela 's Testimony |
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First, I must get something straight. Women are multipliers. We multiply the good along with the bad in unimaginable ways. I don't understand it either, but that is just the way God made us.
Background
1. Alcoholic parents/ Family Violence
Dominant father(my way or the high way attitude) My dad had the innate ability to instill a sense of incompetence in me. I was never good enough. This multiplied to super low self esteem and the spirit of inadequacy became my friend. He was a very selfish man, the ruler of everything and I was scared to death of him. I witnessed multiple accounts of physical abuse directed towards my mother along with verbal abuse towards everyone within the four walls of our home. My mother joined in the drinking scenario because she defiantly could not beat it.
2. About Me
I was cute, shy, withdrawn, insecure and pegged as the insignificant middle. The antonym of trust was multiplied when my grandfather touched me inappropriately. This may not sound like much, but something happened. My innocence was lost. I did not tell anyone for fear, fear of embarrassment and disbelief. I simply buried it and hoped it would go away. Unfortunately, it didn't. For some odd reason I became a magnet to gross men who would attempt to catch a free feel whenever they could. I used to think "what is wrong with me!" I told myself to keep silent. Tell know one and it will go away and basically it did not happen.
I continued to convince myself of this as my step brother began to manipulate me sexually night after night until finally he stole my innocence. Now I am used goods, trashy, dirty. This led to an array of problems. Self mutilation, sexual promiscuity along with alcohol and drug abuse, the list goes on and on!
I was 18 when I went to work for strip o gram and as the months went on, I was eventually offered $400.00 for sex. I thought, "Dang! I give it away, why not get paid." Later this led to a high priced position as a call girl for college coeds.
I love it when Jesus asks the Samaritan woman for a drink in John Ch 4 verse 7. She responds,"you have nothing to to draw with and the well is deep. At that moment Jesus saw her. He saw everything about her and all who were responsible in leading her to the position she held.
One Christmas Eve, I was in a night club. I was only 20 years old but felt much older. I had never felt so alone in my life. People were everywhere and normally I would be in the center of the dance floor having a great time. But, tonight was unlike any other. I saw people for who they truely were and my life was completely void of any happiness. I was alone and lonely.
I went outside to my car and began to pray for direction. This was a selfish prayer,but it was my initial cry to God for help. Three days later, my brother had called and told me my ex boyfriend had came by our house to see how I was doing. I called him that evening and the following Friday we had a date. I did not ever tell him what I did for a living. It was time for change. I enrolled in a medical assisting college program that I attended during the day and at night I became the dispatcher for the agency instead. This was a secret too.
I can remember another call girl, Carly, saying, " Girl, you will never get out of this business! The money is too great." At this moment something clicked! No! This is not who I am! I am not suppose to be here. There is something so much more. I did not know what, but it was not this! I was done! Never will I turn another trick again.
My husband and I married several months later. We went to church every Sunday. I hated it, but that is just what this family did. Discussion closed! The Holy Spirit was working on me the whole time. At the time I did not know what all of that was other than I was extremely uncomfortable and could not wait for it all to be over. Sunday after Sunday I would think,"Whew! That was close!"
Easter Sunday 1986 the urgency was unexplainable. I felt panicky, like this was it, He was done. It is now or never! The voices in my head were saying," Don't make a fool of yourself! Everyone thinks your saved anyway. You're OK! Don't be an idiot! What will your husband think, what will the rest of his family think. You are a disgrace! You have been too bad. Remember all that you have done and what you used to do! There was a war going on my head. I know now that the battle was over my soul! Jesus was calling me. Softly and sweetly, tenderly and gently he called my name and i heard his voice. I let go of front pew that I was white knuckling and went forward to the alter where I laid it all down at the feet of Jesus. The well is deep but once I drank of the water Jesus had to offer, I never will thirst again. He covered me with His blood of forgiveness and is continuing to renew me daily.
Wow! That was 22 years ago and it all is still so new. He has restored me from my ever wounded heart. To be forgiven, wiped clean, the least that I can do for him is to give my life to him daily! One of my students had written a poem that was for his mother. I tweeked it a little:
God, your love
is always directed-
with my life
may it be reflected.
I now am a mother of two. Both of our children are saved and I pray that "God's Will" will be fulfilled in both of their lives. We attend an amazing Church and we are active in the youth ministry.
I went back to college again and received a Bachelors Degree of Science with my Teaching Certificate. I am certified in English. So therefore, now I teach 6th English. I am surrounded
by kids that are hungry for truth and eager to learn about God!
I have never told my testimony to the body, but I know that God will open doors so that I may glorify Him! For it is only through Him that I am anything. There is so much more to this story but I know I am beginning to tire your eyes!
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pamela 's Testimony Info
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Which categories of people did you belonged to before you were saved?
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The Partier, The Abandonded, The Abused, The Most Popular
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| Who have been your best examples? |
Daniel McClendon
Donna Reeves (teacher)
Jason Collins(Youth Pastor FBC)
I look to Christ
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| List books, music or ministries that have helped your walk: |
Left Behind,
23 Minutes in Hell,
90 Minutes in Heaven,
Out of the Pit,
Captivating,(This is a book that every woman must read. Chains were broken that I did not even know were there!)
Casting Crowns, Mercy Me,
Jeremy Camp 89.3 KSBJ of Houston Texas
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| List ministries you are involved with: |
The Edge Student Ministry
After School Bible study Wednesdays Junior High
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| List ministry websites: |
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Church:
Church website:
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| Prayer requests: |
Dylan Burson12yrs old Brain surgery Drs are saying cancer?
My kids- Gary and Randi Gods Will in their life
My sister- Julie, salvation
My step dad George- salvation
My husband Larry spiritual leadership
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| Occupation/Business/School: |
School Teacher
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| Business Website: |
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