| Tellyourtestimony URL: |
| http://www.tellyourtestimony.com/joankoss |
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| Marketplace Ministry |
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Promote and advertise your business, events, music and talents. Posting is Free.
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| Status Update |
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DALE is Blessed with 5 homes to air duct from 1 phone call thank you Jesus ! 11 hours ago...
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Scott is playing with his new Zune! :) 21 hours ago...
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Scott is sore from snowshoeing! 60 hours ago...
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Christina is enjoying the start of a new year! May God bless you all greatly this year! 104 hours ago...
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Scott hopes everyone has a wonderful and Blessed New Year! 119 hours ago...
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| Joan's Testimony |
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I grew up in a Christian home and I lived a very sheltered life I married young, and had three beautiful children, Things appeared to be going great in my life, and I couldn't have been happier.
My oldest daughter was crowned “Colorado Ideal Miss Teenager”, but this joy led into horror. She was held at gun point, kidnapped, and assaulted.
I wondered why God allowed this to happen.
I felt I had failed as a mother, and feeling as a failure led me to build a wall.
My husband turned to alcohol to cover his pain.
I hadn't even gotten over my daughter’s kidnapping when I found myself pacing the hospital floor when my youngest daughter’s face was shattered by a homemade bomb.
This gave my husband an excuse to drink even more and once again I thought I failed as a mother, so I built my wall a little higher and a little stronger.
The communication between my husband and me continued to break down as we went through the pain of nearly losing our child.
My husband’s drinking grew worse and the beatings started, after I survived a collapse lung during one of our fights, he wanted a divorce. I was devastated; I didn't know what to do?
I wanted things to get better not worse! I felt I'd been through enough. This rejection was more than I could possibly bear
I didn't feel I had anyone that I could turn to. I thought if this is how the rest of my life would be like, I didn't want to be here. My spirit was broken, so I tried to kill myself?
Because of the suicide attempt, they locked me up in a mental ward. It was my husband who ordered them to have me committed. When someone else commits you, it isn't easy to get out
When I heard the door lock behind me,
I felt I had been betrayed and abandoned, I felt so helpless, not to mention how terrified I felt being isolated in such a scary place.
When my kids came to visited me in the hospital…They were so hurt and devastated that their mother would even try to end her life, and I took their reaction as a rejection, so I really felt alone, and I didn't even feel that God was there for me.
After days of crying and questioning God, “God where are you? Don't you see that I'm hurting? Do you even care that I hurt?”
I heard this small still voice saying,
"Joannie, I didn't leave you, and I'm here with you" I knew then that my Almighty God would be the only one that could get me out of this place.
God had already been doing a work in my situation. A Christian nurse on the floor, I believe had a hand in my release.
I learned years later that my children were there for me every step of the way, but my emotional state does not remember this.
I had no idea how my action hurt my children, and the rejection they felt when I tried taking my own life.
and they were so young, having to carry this burden I put upon them,
and I'll never know the damage I did to my children.
Through a long process and many hours of prayer God restored my hope and painted in my life a brighter future , and God blessed me with a new husband.
However Satan wasn't done, with my family;
My son had quite going to church, he was taking drugs, selling drugs, and was a member of a gang.
He was having an affair, his wife walked out on him, and he soon lost his job.
During a party which included drugs and alcohol.
a gun went off and my son was arrested for murder.
With this splattered across the head lines in every newspaper and every TV and radio station… every day for days, I isolated myself from everyone at work.
I hid from neighbors, avoided people at the stores. I build my wall higher and very thick.
Before the shooting occurred I asked God if he could blind my son like he did Paul on that road to Damus to get his attention, not realizing how God was going to answer my prayer
I didn't‘ mean send my son to prison Lord, that isn't what I meant when I prayed that prayer,
I realized later that God had to back my son again a wall to get his attention, unfortunately it took a prison wall.
God not only got my son’s attention like he did Paul’s, but now he has become an evangelist like Paul. My son now is a pastor of a church in Colorado.
he is proof that God can and does change people.
God took the ashes and made something beautiful.
A few years later; now once again my faith was shaken,
My wonderful new husband, of 11 years, who God so richly bless me with, had a heart attack and died, and I felt as if my life died along with my husband's death
I had to deal with all my hurts and disappointment.
So my forgiveness started with a decision with me wanting to be freed of my bitterness, that was blocking God‘s blessing he had in store for me.
I needed to forgive all the people that caused me my heart-ache and through God’s program, I was able to focus on God’s love and grace
When I was able to forgive the people that wronged me God gave me a change of memory and a change in my heart it was then that my wall came down, and I was healed and received my gift of forgiveness from God and became a new person.
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Joan's Testimony Info
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Which categories of people did you belonged to before you were saved?
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Other
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| Who have been your best examples? |
My Mother, as she was a very Godly women, who gave me my foundation. Through her I learned to fear
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| List books, music or ministries that have helped your walk: |
Beth Moore Series
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| List ministries you are involved with: |
Kairos Outside of Phoenix, Az and Community Church of Joy in Glendale, AZ
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| List ministry websites: |
www.webspawner.com/users/tankersleys/index.html
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Church:
Church website:
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| Prayer requests: |
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| Occupation/Business/School: |
Administrative Assistant
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| Business Website: |
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