Last year in the 6th grade, I was 11. I was going to church, but I did some very bad stuff. I sometime wonder, was I saved then. I got baptised the year before and I got saved at 8 years old. I just defied the lord in so many ways. I got suspended from school that year and I was flirting with my friends boyfriends, and I was cusssing... A lot. Now I know if any of my friends or people from chuch saw this, they wouldn't believe me. But it is true.

 

Then, a week or two ago, one of my friends died. He died in a car wreck. His name is Charles Williams. I was upset and all and all of my friends told me to see a depression councelor. Yeah, Right. I can't even talk to my teachers, which explains why I am failing two classes. I finally got over it. I started reading the bible some more. I had also stopped going to church for a while before he died. After he died, I started going to church every single day since. Why? I realized, if I don't get help from the lord, I could die any minute. I could die while typing up my testimony. But instead, I would rather die and go to heaven... instead of Hell.

 

When I was 9, I got diagnosed with diabetes. I was so upset. I haven't ben able to eat much since. I had lost about 40 punds and gained it all back. Then I started going to a specialist over in Mobile. I found out no matter how much I dieted, I wouldn't lose much weight. Why? I also have Heart disease. I wasn't eating all that much afrter words. I got enrolled in YMCA and I excercised every day. I have gone down 2 clothing sizes after. I am so happy because I get new clothes.

 

Last year, my sister called. It was just after Christmas. The answering machine picked up. My daddy and her were talking. She said, hey dad, are you and Nina divorced yet. Well I heard, and I thought that they were getting divorced. I was torn down. I went to school the next day. I had people I didn't even know wanting to know what was wrong with me. People felt bad for me. Then I got guilty... when I found out they weren't getting divorced. Everyone hated me. I finally explained to them it was a misunderstanding. I got my friends back.

 

Last year, my boyfriend told me he was on drugs, and he offered me some. I told him, HELLO! We are only teeanagers. And besides, we are at school! You know someone just got arrested for having drugs at school. He didn't care. I broke up with him and told him I didn't care about him any more. Then he reached for me and started hugging me and told me it would make me happy. I was struggling to get away from him. He refused to let me go. luckily one of my friends was near by. She immediately went to the principal. I still care about him. Alot actually. He is going on 14 this year and I am going on 13. Last year he got arrested on that day. That day that the lord helped me to get away from him. That day that the lord provided Emily there to go and get help. This year, there have been many deaths in my life. I am really getting sick of it.

 

I am getting sick and tired of people dying because of getting mugged or getting in fights, being shot, STDs, and rapes. It is all defying the lord and what he brought us on this Earth for. A few of my Aunts and Uncle's died from cancer and mt 3rd cousin died from cancer. I wasn't all upset because I didn't know them. I was just sitting there, reading my bible one night. I was reading Acts 3:5. I was thinking, what would it be like if I was in there position? I never realized that when I was having out of uniform days at shool, and having fun with my family, my aunts, uncles, and cousin were suffering with cancer. I still run that question through my head. Now, you don't need any more info to see my life isn't always being a goody goody two shoes. I have been in trouble some times, and I haven't been happy all the time. I just want people to realize that. But even thpugh my life is bad in spaces, some of it is good. One of my aunts that is still alive plays in movie. She played in Forest gump, and she played in a movie with Antonio Bandares. She plays in a lot of movies. I just found this out just recently.

 

But when life goes to it's worst, I remember verse

John 3:16- For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son. That whosoever slhall beleiveth in him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.